Twilight

A quick warning to all of you little vampire/lycanthropic wannabe tweenies who will no doubt be burning up me email in-box with your vacuous complaints concerning what I'm about to write....don't bother! Rapidly coming on middle age and being male all I can say about TWILIGHT is I'm glad this shit wasn't around when I was a teen or I would have never been laid! I swear, I've never seen a more doe-eyed group of little gothies mooning over such romantic drivel since the remake of PRIDE AND PREJUDICE. Hey, great the kids are at least reading something other than HARRY POTTER and all the more power to Stephenie Meyer and her continued trumphs but bloody hell this flick struck me as 90210 meets INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE and I suppose we can put a bit of the blame on Anne Rice for making this broody style of blood sucking popular. In any case, it is perhaps unfair for me to review this at all as when I saw it in the theatre I couldn't hear a damn thing as it sounded like I was having an audio flashback from one of the BACKSTREET BOYS concerts I had to take my daughter to and when I tried to watch the DVD I promptly nodded off and slept like the proverbial dead which is how I think many of the characters in TWILIGHT should have stayed.