Wednesday, March 25, 2009


Ok, ok! I've been getting your emails concerning this one and I hear you loud and clear, just let us say I've been "distracted" and as such have not been able to get to blurbing this highly anticipated feature. As it is, I've now seen it three times, the third being due to aforementioned "distraction" and for the sake of those who have been too damn lazy to get out to the cinema and have been pestering the bloody hell out of me for an opinion I will give you a spoiler free take.

It doesn't suck and see it on the IMAX!

For those of you who have seen it, but not on the IMAX, do so while you stilll can and this isn't so much for the visuals and the sound which is stunning in this format.

I mentioned the film does not suck and this is important as many fans of the comic (yes, it was a comic mini series before the graphic novel kiddies!) were overcome with the stomach of dread concerning this adaptation of Alan Moore's vision (yes, I know Dave Gibbons did the art but I highly doubt he was a major influence on the story itself) fearing another train wreck like THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN. This, coupled with the idea WATCHMEN, like, say DUNE, was one of the complex projects many felt could never be properly brought to the big screen. Amazingly Zack Snyder and his crew pull it off. It is not 100% much of the back story being presented dury an itroductory montage sequence (awesome by the way) and then working the key elements into a presentable picture.

This is all you really need to know about WATCHMEN as far. My praise is high and my complaints few but I will address them.

First off, the film is amazingly too long. I say amazingly as the story is such you would expect it to be long but they decided to dwell on the eye candy a bit too much and this brings me to my second complaint which is the way the fight scenes are shot. I've had it up to the eyeballs with this trend of slowing down action sequences. Sure, looked cool the first time we saw it, much like the wirework in THE MATRIX (yes, I know, ripped from the Japanese films....don't bother emailing me!) but enough already. I'm of the opinion if they had not uitilized this technique they could have easily shaved ten minutes off of the running time. My saying this should give you an indication of the amount of violence in this film and I was stunned to see parents bringing their 5 to 10 years olds to ALL THREE screenings I attended.

If people have not managed to twig to this concept yet I'll say it...WATCHMEN is not a kiddie flick!

My other problem is with the dialogue. Some of it works fine in the comic, it should have been adapted better for the movie and this is especially bothersome in the case of Rorschach. They flip his intonation all over the place much to the detriment of the character and this is important for as many characters their are floating in and out of the picture WATCHMEN is his story. Critics across the board have been ranting and raving about Jeffrey Dean Morgan as The Comedian in this one but the real star her is the Oscar nominated Jackie Earle Haley who I swear is even more threatening without his mask. I simply cannot stress how phenomenal his performance is here which brings us to our next topic.


Hey, it's human nature, we love to compare things even when they shouldn't be.

THE DARK KNIGHT is the better picture, it will have a greater lasting appeal but when you put The Joke alongside Rorschach...well....let's just say they are both amazing and don't waste your prescious time on the subject.

Our next point of major contention concerns Malin Akerman as Silk Spectre II. For years now the fan boy perverts have been yipping and howling about who the hottest from the page to the screen comic naughty hottie was with the hold trilogy being Michele Pfeiferr as Catwoman, Carrie-Anne Moss as Trinity and Jennifer Garner's Elektra being benchmark and no, Charlize Theron as Aeon Flux (I can't find the funny little "AE" key, forgive me!) doesn't count as the original was an animated series though she could have melted an iceberg from her hotness in that one! It now seems Akerman has knocked the lot of them from the mantle but in my opinion only because of the sex scene. Sure, she looks great in vinyl and said romp scene had a number of geek heads trotting off to the little boy's room but I still say Garner's Elektra tops them all.

Speaking of sex, I was saddened to notice what seemed to be the biggest attraction of WATCHMEN was Dr. Manhattan's neon blue schlong! The laughing and titters it caused from the audience were damn close to unbearable at times and on the way out from all three screening it was all I could hear anybody talk about and this may perhaps be the biggest problem with's too complicated for whats left of the average audience menber's mind.

To sum all of this up, it is an amazingly stylish piece of work, yet another reason to make the effort to see it on the IMAX. Also, I truly thought the casting was stunning. The only face I recognized was Matt Frewer though I swear it is Tony Cox (who is not credited!~) in the prison scene with Rorschach and this does wonders in allowing you to escape into Alan Moore's world. I gather he would not allow his name to be on the credits no longer wanting any association with adaptations of his work. I haven't heard what he thought of WATCHMEN but I can honestly see no reason not to be proud.

And there you have it readers, you don't have to email me anymore about this one and, as much as I love you all, stop with the messages concerning the new STAR TREK.....despite what you may thing I have NOT seen any advance version and as far as Sam Raimi's upcoming DRAG ME TO HELL, well....I'm not supposed to say anything but it will be, by far, the best horror picture this year and Sam went back to his roots in a mighty big way!


Anonymous cj said...

WOW...Ok then. I think i better see this in the IMAX...

11:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yes, I reckon you best

1:14 AM  

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