Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Day the Earth Stood Still

This would be the "remake", the one that just stole thirty some odd million from the pockets of unsuspecting movie goers world wide.......and here is what I thought about it...
friggin' dreadfully, awfully fucking horrid!
and that would be the good things I have to say.
I'm not going to blame director Scott Derrickson, no, he is a major fan of the original and you can see he is doing his best to capture the feel of the 50's sci-fi blockbusters...even manages to do it in some spots.
I'm not going to blame the actors, it's not their fault. Keeanu Reeves actually deserves an Oscar nod for his performance as he was perfectly cast and if they had given him some proper bloody dialogue to work with it would stand out as the best role of his career. Jennifer Connelly is rather believable in her role.....for about twenty minutes and then the script fails her. Kathy Bates, miscast BEYOND conception and while John Cleese is a welcome breath of fresh air in this stale clunker there is really no reason for him to be there.
Then we have poor Jaden Smith.........ohhhhhhhh....poor poor Jaden. Daddy had best get this kid a new agent because if he ends up in another travesty like this his acting day will be over before they even begin. The kid can act, I think we are all aware of this, but he is given a character which A) shouldn't be there and B) the entire audience would have applauded greatly if Gort had fired a laser full of those nano-robot jobbies up the ass of within the first half hour! I honestly feel for the kid as the child character in the original was pivotal and in this version has been reduced to a Hollywood prerequisite and it is Hollywood I blame for this sacrilege.
The bankers in Hollywood are obsessed with remakes because they make money and if people keep putting their bums in the theatre seats we will keep getting more of these films. I understand the business side of this....what I don't understand is why this business ass marketing fucks have to go an meddle with the creative side of things. The script just MIGHT have actually worked if it wasn't obsessed with revolving around product placements, some so obvious, such as the McDonald's scene, you just want's to get up and walk out of the theatre.
Here we have a picture updating the original anti-war message to that of an enviromental one and we are inundated throughout with BLATANT advertising making any sincerity this flick tried to muster completely moot.
Then, we have the CGI, so friggin' what. Yeah, the destruction of Giant's Stadium scene was cool but it served to purpose and hardly makes the film worth scouting out an Imax theatre for.
Gort, for the ten minutes or so we see this now biological robot, is cool and some are crediting him with saying the now famous line uttered by Klaatu in the first, "Klaatu Barada Nikto"....really?!?!?!?!??!?!?!! Well, I heard some garbled electronic mess come out of Gort's "mouth" and it sure as shit didn't sound like no "Klaatu Barada Nikto" to me!
Oh, the problems are so rampant with this one, and I might add I heard some chick on NBC this morning chirp "I liked it!" which only cemented my opinion morning television is populated completely with vacuous talking heads, but I can sum my thoughts on this remake with one statement.......
The remake of THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL was so bad even the Wilhelm Scream didn't want to be in it!


Post a Comment

<< Home