U-571

With time being scarce in this ever hectic world it was only a matter of time before some techno-weenie came up with a site like www.informationageprayer.com . The premise is rather unique...too busy to pray to whatever diety you worship....no problem....give is five bucks a month and we will have our computer do it for you. No, I don't make this shit up which is why I post the link for your perusal. I also post it because it might be worth the money to have this bent knee microchip pray you never to have to see a film this bad!
Ok, maybe not that bad. Jonathan Mostow knows how to direct a film and U-571 does look good. Alas, this poor man's DAS BOOT is much like one of those tarted up bimbos you drag home after a night of pissin' at the pub....looks good on the surface but take a peek under the hood and you're in some serious trouble.....much like the subs in this flick. The plot is ridiculous and the casting awe inspiringly screwed. Hell, the one guy I wanted to see, David Keith who looks like friggin' Captain America manifested straight from the comic book page gets killed off pretty much right from the get go. leaving us with Matthew McConaughey (looking like a little lost puppy) and Harvey Keitel (looking like a rabid pitbull about to bite the nuts off of somebody...wait...he always looks like that!) to carry this action film which ultimately runs ashore. Worth a look if it's all you can find on late night television, otherwise avoid.