Wide Sargasso Sea

If PBS decided to run a porno company this would be the result! I don't care how many dancing naked women and humping natives you throw in to this film it ain't gonna save it. Based somewhat on the Jean Rhys novel (which is supposed to be a prequel to JANE EYRE so you know we're in trouble right from the get go)this is the tale of an Englishman who goes to Jamaica to take a bride, gets whacked by the power of Obia and goes off his nut. Nevermind the Obia bit, lots of rum and women in the raw would do the job for me and I tend to think most Englishmen are off their nut in the first place. Said man is Nathaniel Parker who spends lots of time in the buff which will get all of the INSPECTOR LYNLEY ladies all hot and bothered and the bride is the lovely Karina Lombard who wears less clothing than Paris Hilton for most of the film. Both are effective in their roles but it goes to waste in the much of poor pacing and direction. Michael York shows up long enough to realise he shouldn;t be there as does Rachel Ward and Hammer horror vet Martine Beswick. Hell, even Naomi Watts, who I think is the most beautiful woman in the world, makes an appearance but sadly she keeps her clothes on. Stewart Copeland provides an excellent score....problem is it sounds like he wrote it for another film and hey...there is a good underwater shot of a crab...I liked that and that is about all I liked.