Ink Casualty

Sure Sign of the Impending Apocalypse

2012-02-12T22:24:00.005-05:00

Paul McCartney clapping along to Glen Campbell at the Grammys...yep...bring on the big triple-six...the end is well bloody nigh.......AND....if you are going to do a duet with Tony Bennett you think you might want to learn his friggin' last name!

How to extract a pillow from your ass

2011-09-10T13:11:00.001-04:00

VERY CAUTIOUSLY!

go ahead...google it...I dare ya!

testing testing

2011-09-04T11:23:00.001-04:00

this still works?

R.I.P.-Patricia Neal

2010-08-09T11:10:00.001-04:00

The Last Airbender

2010-08-04T17:35:00.002-04:00

It was certainly better than the one about that chick moping about in the pool.

Barbarossa

2010-07-29T12:17:00.004-04:00

Made for television drawn out look at the war between Germany and Italy back in the middle ages with Romania subbing for both and some fantasy shit thrown in to make it interesting. Fan of medieval war flicks may enjoy this but despite the presence of F. Murray Abraham and Rutger Hauer the whole thing was pretty lack lustre. Nice to see Elena Bouryka but alas she can't carry this clunker and I guarantee the music will make you want to ram a pan flute up somebodies arse!

R.I.P-Maury Chaykin

2010-07-27T16:33:00.001-04:00

He may have been American born but he was all Canadian at heart. He will be sadly missed by the Toronto acting community and restaurateurs alike.

Gypsy 83

2010-07-19T13:41:00.007-04:00

There is usually a good reason why a cult film is just that and that reason is often they aren't very good. GYPSY 83 is no exception. If it wasn't for the goth aspect and the gay themes this snore fest would probably have remained in the cursed development stage. While Todd Stephens may be an icon in the gay community it doesn't automatically make him the next John Waters and I find with his work he seems to be doing just that. I may be wrong there, the man certainly has talent but I just don't like his films. Karen Black was the only thing of interest to me, great to see John Doe but while both Sara Rue and Kett Turton are fine actors there just wasn't enough of a script here to work with and ultimately you couldn't care less what happens in the story and end up falling asleep.

Salt

2010-07-19T13:41:00.006-04:00

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

Angelina Jolie is smart, sexy, successful and just so happens to be a Russian sleeper agent who is a one-woman wrecking crew. Sounds great and man oh man I'm there but hey, very little we haven't seen before. As an action film SALT more than delivers as director Phillip Noyce knows how to deliver in this genre but there were three things I found frustrating about this film. First, there was enough to deliver a straight espionage piece and indeed SALT starts out that way but then turns into a simple Jolie vehicle becoming a cross between TOMB RAIDER and WANTED. This is a shame as Jolie could easily carry a serious action picture and with the new JAMES BOND film on indefinite hold I couldn't help but thing the studios simply MUST pair her up with Daniel Craig again. Soon! My second problem is with Jolie herself...lose the bloody high heels will you please. I'm sorry but you just don't go doing the whole parkour thing in a pair of heeled boots. We all get that ya gots them smoking hot walking sticks baby but help us suspend or sense of disbelief and gran some sneakers dammit. My final complaint is with Liev Schreiber, who I'm a great fan of but shit on a stick fellows, if you are going to borrow from THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (remake) do you really think it's wise to cast Liev in the part you did? All in all SALT is a fine little summer thrill ride and of course it's left open with a sequel in mind. Fun stuff but you can wait for the DVD.

Inception

2010-07-16T14:46:00.002-04:00

Excellent on all levels. An absolute visual feast wrapped in a great brain buster. Worth every damn cent to see!
Detailed review to follow when time permits

and at this point is there need to say anymore? This is indeed the blockbuster of the summer. While smart in presentation it doesn't let the "science" get in the way of the action and as one critic said this is "THE MATRIX meets JAMES BOND" and that about sums it up. So much so you'll see where Nolan borrows from both. While there are a couple of visuals we've never seen before I'm of the mind many of you will experience the Escheresque sense of deja vu I did. This is not a bad thing but I did walk out wondering when we will next get something truly unique from American cinema.

The Karate Kid

2010-07-15T18:38:00.001-04:00

I never thought the day would come when I'd be looking forward to a KARATE KID movie but I must confess to doing just that ever since I saw the first preview. I hated the Ralph Macchio/Pat Morita original and in all fairness this was a personal thing and I honestly can't remember if it and the subsequent sequels were good films or not but what grabbed me about the new one, and I say "new one" as this seems to be only a slight remake using the title for marketing reasons more than anything else, was the immediate chemistry I saw between Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith. I'm happy to say it was just in the trailer, it translated to the film itself and makes this one stand out from so many other tweenie offerings of the sort. I gather they got along so well the Smith can are off to Japan to spend the summer with Chan. I haven't confirmed this but I like the idea. THE KARATE KID deals with a serious basket of human issues in a simplistic haiku type fashion and the performances are fine enough, especially from Chan in an atypical dramatic role, they may well garner some awards later in the year. Harald Zwart directs this one in an interesting style straddling the need t have a commercial studio success and still deliver a legitimate piece of work. One scene in particular stands out when Wenwen Han is singing Lady Gaga on the arcade karaoke game to Smith. It packs more sexual punch than you can imagine and does so without being trite or sleazy, a rare feat in any genre. One of the most satisfying films out there at the moment and suitable for all ages.

The Girl Who Played with Fire

2010-07-09T14:50:00.002-04:00

Those who had a shit-fit with the series finale of THE SOPRANOS will be pulling their bloody hair out when they see how this second part of the Stieg Larsson MILLENNIUM series. On the upside it doesn't look like we'll have to wait long for the North American release of THE GIRL WHO KICKED THE HORNET'S NEST but the cliff hanger they use here, or should I say "broken film reel" drove me so nuts I'm tempted to say if you've not seen the first wait for the whole kit and kaboodle to be available or find a good bootleg source and grab the last instalment BEFORE checking out the cinema. As far as FIRE goes, it's one damn convoluted mess of a picture, stylish for sure but it looks like something is missing and I'm not buying that whole "you have to read the book to make sense of it" bit. It's a movie.....it should be able to stand on it's own legs. Speaking of legs, Noomi Rapace is back swinging those pretty ones of hers and when you boil it down this is the only reason the series works at all. Like I said about THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO, it's only special because of the characters of which she is the main one. I enjoyed Daniel Alfreson's directing and he not only directs HORNET but a spin-of television set which will no doubt be released here shortly after the final hits the screen. I'm not going to pan this one but no need to run to the cineplex to catch it and perhaps it will make a bot more sense when you have the last piece in hand.

When You're Strange

2010-07-07T10:20:00.001-04:00

Much as been said of late about Tom DeCillo's latest examination of the legend behind THE DOORS toting this as a counter point to Oliver Stone's supposed biopic. While any DOORS flick is a good DOORS flick in my mind WHEN YOU'RE STRANGE does not live up to the claims. Despite a rather wooden narration provided by Johnny Depp and some cleaned up footage from Morrison's alleged lost art film HWY: AN AMERICAN PASTORAL (which, besides what's seen in this pic I've still to date only seen fuzzy VHS boot fragments) there isn't much here to set this aside from a crass cash-grab. Nothing wrong with that mind you and it is a great look at rock & roll suicide 101 or as an introduction for the tweenie-bops to the works of THE DOORS but for us old acid casualties there will be little new of interest though there is an interview with Jim's father in the extras.

When in Rome

2010-07-07T09:41:00.002-04:00

Under normal circumstances I would trash a chick flick like this one but there was something I found oddly compelling about WHEN IN ROME. Aside from the stargazing aspect and there are many, this reminded me of the old romantic comedies such as THREE COINS IN THE FOUNTAIN which this is obviously a homage or rip-off of. While it starts out slowly and Kristen Bell is annoying as all hell, it quickly picks up and she does win your heart. The more jaded of my readership will certainly not enjoy this baby so stay clear but those you still enjoy the classic laughers of the '50s will find this light hearted fare to their tastes.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

2010-06-27T21:05:00.003-04:00

I have yet to read the Stieg Larsson trilogy this came from and after seeing this I doubt I'll bother. A fine suspense film for sure but only stands out as unique due to the fact it takes it's time to develop the main characters but I'm of the mind had this been an American production (there are rumours Fincher may indeed direct a remake) there wouldn't have been much fuss made about it. Indeed they are using a quote (from People I think) to promote this, "believe the hype" and that is about all I found here.....hype. The way it was talked about I expected something akin to BLADERUNNER and LA FEMME NIKITA and it just doesn't deliver. I certainly enjoyed Noomie Rapace as the chick with the lizard on her back but other than that it reminded me of a '70s BBC production. Certainly worth a view but ditch the hype before you do so.

Daybreakers

2010-06-27T16:49:00.002-04:00

Where oh where do I begin with this one. The Spierig Brothers gave us a unique take on the zombie genre with UNDEAD but from the previews DAYBREAKERS struck me as about to be GATTACA with vampires. Not just because it stars Ethan Hawke but the visual style and indeed DAYBREAKERS stars out in this fashion. It takes itself serious for a bit, then Willem Dafoe shows up as comic relief and a film with mucho potential quickly careens right into predictable nonsense. Entertaining predictable nonsense yes but not what we expected especially when it could have been so much more. Sam Neill looks like he walked right from the set of THE FINAL CONFLICT and sadly adds more ham than substance to this blood fest and yes, there be blood with one of the best exploding head scenes in ages but we get back to the same problem of DAYBREAKERS being camp when you want high art.

Heartless

2010-06-27T16:41:00.002-04:00

Being a fan of Philip Ridley's THE REFLECTING SKIN I went in with some high expectations from HEARTLESS and they were only half met. By every stretch of the imagination this is a dark and complex piece of work but it seems too intent on straddling the balance beam between art-house and main stream and this may irk some viewers. Jim Sturgess as the birth marked photographer who discovers demons living amongst us quickly brings to mind NOMADS and throughout you may find yourself thinking of ANGEL HEART and JACOB'S LADDER as well. It's not a direct rip but the elements Ridley works with here make comparisons inevitable. Interesting just how many members of the support cast are CASUALTY veterans and fans of the show will enjoy this face gazing aspect. Some great scares, good splat and brilliant atmosphere will make you forgive the tidy ending.

Harry Brown

2010-06-27T16:21:00.002-04:00

Why critics continue to be so harsh on Daniel Barber's feature debut still puzzles me as this is one bloody good film. By no means unique as we've seen this "I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore" story many times but the way it's presented here gives it a new twist. There is in fact a story and where it ends up should take you by surprise. What also might surprise you is Michael Caine who appears to have actually showed up to film this rather than mailing in his work. This is in no way a knock at Caine who I always enjoy but there is a gravitas to his work here we've not seen recently. Many ave written they found the villains cartoonish and if so I'd love to know what 'toons they be watchin' 'cause I want 'em! The scene where Caine goes to buy a gun introduces us to a couple of blokes you're not likely to forget anytime soon and by my book is an instant classic. Aside from the excellent ending I enjoyed Barber's restraint with the social commentary. Unlike so many American films he doesn't hammer you over the head with a Reader's Digest message of the day, he doesn't have to as it's there right before your eyes and while you may like HARRY BROWN you wont like what you see.

The Good Guy

2010-06-27T15:54:00.002-04:00

Uggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....why oh why do I continue to torture my peepers with teenie targeting stuff like this? Because every now then there are little gems to be found. THE GOOD GUY doesn't quite reach gem but it's a better offering than lots of other stuff out there and if nothing else it answered my question of whatever happened to Anna Chlumsky. Turns out the breakout childhood star is doing bit work is flicks like this. Alexis Bledel of GILMORE GIRLS fame struck me a little too weak to lead this ensemble which could have done better with a heavier presence to match the males on display. The Brazilian waxing scene was an excellent showcase of former tweenine TV talent which I quite enjoyed and throwing Bryan Greenberg and Scott Porter, both good Omaha, Nebraska boys, together was a great touch. Speaking of Porter, he plays a great scum bucket and somebody has best snag him a serial killer role and fast. I say this because THE GOOD GUY has shades of AMERICAN PSYCHO and other than said "good guy" you will probably hate all of the characters including a long-time INK CASUALTY fave Andrew McCarthy who justly slimes in every scene he's involved with. I'm not giving THE GOOD GUY the thumbs up but if you are stuck watching it there are a few things of interest, the lovely Kate Nauta certainly being one of them.

Hot Tub Time Machine

2010-06-27T15:44:00.002-04:00

When I see John Cusack is starring in something new I used to get excited but after 2012, 1408 and now this, not so much. He has one great moment, with sunglasses and a bong, which gets more of a cerebral chuckle than a belly laugh and this is the problem with HOT TUB TIME MACHINE...it isn't very funny. I'm serious, the only thing I laughed out loud at was the friggin' squirrel! Sure, it was entertaining as a time waster but it never steps up to the plate and taps the homer. Crispen Glover tries to spice things up, nothing doin' and while I always love to see Montreal's Jessica Pare in a state of undress it isn't enough to make me recommend this one to anybody. Hell, they couldn't even get the real POISON to do the flick.

Green Zone

2010-06-27T15:22:00.002-04:00

If you were looking for another BOURNE film in this one forget it. Paul Greengrass does a fine ob directing and actually managed to edit this one in a non-headache inducing fashion but the heavy moral bent to the script gets in the way of what should an eyes forward action flick. Matt Damon once again shows he's more than cut out for this type of work but there is nothing here to make this project stand out. Fine if there is nothing else to view, otherwise forgettable.

Dear John

2010-06-25T11:06:00.004-04:00

From the opening scene I thought I'd be writing something nice about DEAR JOHN and then it went all Energizer Bunny on me and now I won't. To quote a local nine year old I asked about this as she was returning the DVD to the shop "it was sooooooooooo fucking sad" and I'm honestly not sure if she meant that as crying sad or simply weak sad. I don't remember the Nicholas Sparks novel dragging like this and I'm fond of Lasse Hallstrom's work but something here just doesn't add up and I think this is about all I have to say about DEAR JOHN.

Brooklyn's Finest

2010-06-23T18:15:00.002-04:00

The last time we saw Ethan Hawke directed by Antoine Fuqua was in TRAINING DAY and he was the fresh faced rookie with the moral compass. Almost a decade later we see him flipping the coin as a cop with a moral dilemma. So does Richard Gere in a role quite similar to that he played in THE FLOCK. So does Don Cheadle whose issues are a bit more complex and involve Wesley Snipes making his big return to the mainstream. It's an ambitious project for Fuqua and he nearly pulls it off but the end there is something missing. Still can't put my finger on what it was but what could have been an exceptional film falls short and remains merely above average. Great opening scene and Vincent D'Onofrio is excellent for the little bit of screen time he gets. Fantastic to see Lili Taylor back on the big screen and a racey breakout role for ALL MY CHILDREN's Shannon Kane.

Green Street Hooligans 2

2010-06-23T15:31:00.002-04:00

As far as I know Ross McCall is the only leftover from the first but no matter, this is a fun little number mixing tow great things, fottie and violence. Prison drama with boat loads of ass kicking, bukets of blood and a fine showcase for the talents of Graham McTavish. Stuntman turned filmmaker Jesse V. Johnson knows what it takes to deliver a film hence why it's above average.

Invictus

2010-06-23T14:45:00.003-04:00

Well, for once I can honest to God say this was an earth moving film as there just so happened to be an earthquake during the jet scene! So happens to be a first for me and I can pretty much say that myth of birds knowing when such an event is about to happen is just that, a myth, as they fluttered about for a second and were right back at the seeds before the quake had even ended but back to INVICTUS.
Of all the great things I could say about Clint Eastwood let me state this, he constantly reminds me what film making is all about. Never mind the artistic liberties taken here (the title itself is supposedly in error), never mind the whitewashed politics and put aside the lengthy rugby segment at the end, INVICTUS is an inspirational and extremely well crafted film. Morgan Freeman well deserved the Oscar this earned him and he did indeed catch the magic of Mandela he spoke of in so many interviews promoting this picture. Matt Damon, though certainly a main character is mereley a sidebar much like the rugby itself but his scene in Mandela's actual prison cell is the stuff movie legends are made of. With South Africa holding he world cup of soccer at the moment this is a perfect time to rent this one if it hasn't already graced your screen.

Valentine's Day

2010-06-23T10:18:00.002-04:00

An all-star chick flick named after the sappiest day of the year....yup....it's as bad as you think! BUT I loved it. The whole thing struck me as what life would be like if you had a dozen movie channels and an ol' big ass clicker. There are maybe a dozen stories going on in this Garry Marshall picture and maybe a hundred faces you'll know which is why I enjoyed it so much. It's TMZ in movie form. Hell, even Taylor Swift makes an appearance, her first and it's hilarious...as in funny good and I'll fess up to being happy to see her despite that damn overplayed 15 song of hers.
Ashton Kutcher......love the guy but fuck me he was bad in this one. Julia Roberts....worse and why does she always do an airplane scene in these type of flicks. Great scene between Anne Hathaway and Queen Latifah....well...actually between Hathaway and herself. Jennfer Garner and Bradley Cooper.....why Marshall didn't do the obvious ALIAS reunion is beyond me. Jamie Foxx and the acid reflux line is classic and you bloody well can't tell me he didn't enjoy working with Jessica Biel. Anna Kulinova cameos, there is a dog named Pushkin and a shot with Alexis Peters who just so happens to be the niece of Joe Mantegna who STEALS the film with one FIVE SECOND cameo!

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

2010-06-18T12:38:00.004-04:00

While Brad Pitt gets top billing in this one the film actually belongs to Casey Affleck who is causing one fuck of a stir right now with his work in THE KILLER INSIDE ME. To date we really haven't seen Casey show his chops but he sure as hell does here and if the competition wasn't so stiff in 2008 he would have snagged an Oscar on this one. Pitt himself does some fine work here though at times you wonder if he isn't blending Early from KALIFORNIA and Jeffrey from TWELVE MONKEYS. As good as his acting is here his best is when he 's playing dead and the scenes of Jesse on death display are uncanny in their historical realism. Andrew Dominik does an excellent job directing this thinking man's Western and though I would have rather had the film narration free I can certainly understand why he chose to do so. I'd love to see the original four hour cut but most important here is JESSE JAMES shows off Dominik's style and it seems he's a perfect fit to helm the Cormac McCarthy project CITIES OF THE PLAIN. Those looking for fast Western shoot-em-up action you might want to take a pass but those who like their fare character study driven will absolutely love this one.

Hercules

2010-06-16T13:41:00.002-04:00

This take on the Hercules legend comes courtesy of Hallmark and if you can get by some low budget effects this made for television number isn't bad. Of course it's meant for the family so the blood and sex is kept to the minimum but as a Sunday time waster with the kiddies you can't lose. I had a bit of trouble with Paul Telfer in the lead as there is some heavy star power here with the likes of Timothy Dalton, Sean Astin, Elizabeth Perkins, Tyler Mane, Kim Coates and Leelee Sobieski on board. Ah Leelee.........yes....she still needs to go back to acting school because about all she does here is look pensive and doe-eyed but hey, that's why we love her. Straight forward stuff you can take or leave.

Rush Hour 2

2010-06-15T12:57:00.003-04:00

"We could have had something special......but you is one crazy ass bitch". Chris Tucker utters this line and on it's merit alone I give RUSH HOUR 2 the big thumbs up! I love this line so much I rank it up there in my top ten best in cinema history! As for the picture itself it's everything you'd expect. I always look at the RUSH HOUR series as a poor man's LETHAL WEAPON but they deliver what they're supposed to. Would have like to have seen more action from John Lone who is rather wasted here but the Jackie Chan/Don Cheadle fight scene more than makes up for it. Ziya Zhang steals every scene she's in and always great to see Maggie Q. Standard fare but at least you know what to expect.

The Ranger, the Cook and a Hole in the Sky

2010-06-14T23:24:00.002-04:00

I checked this one out simply on the strength of Sam Elliott who I find can make any film worth watching. This certainly holds true here but even better was how good this little made for TV number turned out to be. Adapted from the Norman Maclean (A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT) short story this deals with a young woodsman and the adventures of the year before he turns 18. Jerry O'Connell does duty as Mac and is amazing well casted here and I'm tempted to sat this is the best work I've seen him do. While Elliott is great as always and is joined by card master extrodinaire Ricky Jay and Molly Parker it is the minor cast that blew me away. A virtual all-star number of Canadian character actors make this a great face watcher and with damn near 90 % of the cast being X-FILES or BATTLESTAR GALACTICA alumni sci-fi heads will have a blast with this one. Don S Davis, Michael Tayles, Tom Butler and Robert Wisden to name a few all add a special flavor to the mix making this one extremly pleasurable view. May be a bit slow for some but I thought this added to the charm and director John Kent Harrison has a work to be proud of here. Excellent score provided by veteran Lawrence Shragge only sweetens the pot here.

The Stranger

2010-06-14T18:18:00.002-04:00

Robert Lieberman predominantly works in television with directing stints on THE X-FILES and DEXTER so it's interesting to see him at the helm of this Stone Cold Steve Austin vehicle. These two elements are about all that's interesting about THE STRANGER which suffers not from the directing, script or even Stone Cold but wretchedly poor acting all around. While Stone Cold is by no means a thespian he more than adequately does the job he was hired to do and I'm of the thought only his fans will take anything away from this one. The script has some interesting aspects and is crafted well enough but offers little in the something new department. Erica Cerra does her best to spice things up but the supporting cast simpky sucks the life out of anything her or Austin try to get going. Might pass as a good hangover film but nothing more.

R.I.P.-Peter Orlovsky

2010-06-02T15:59:00.003-04:00

The generation slowly fades

Clash of the Titans

2010-06-02T15:08:00.002-04:00

Louis Leterrier delivers a faithful remake of this 1981 "classic" and fans of the original will be happy. It's just as cheesy, over-the-top and silly as the original despite the fact we have CGI replacing Dynamation. To Leterrier's credit he did his best to lure Ray Harryhausen out of retirement for this project but Ray was having no part of that action. I had a bit of a problem with Sam Worthington in the lead as Perseus though I can't think of who I would have rather seen. Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes seem to having fun with the ham sandwiches and the lovely Gemma Arterton if fab as Io. Truth be told though, I was never that gig on the original and though this is slick and action packed it struck me as more of that been there and seen that stuff though I'll give the giant scorpions ther due. Biggest surprise for me was being happy to see Bubo the owl which I hated in the first. Catch it in 3-D if you can.

Turn the Beat Around

2010-06-02T10:50:00.002-04:00

By any standards this film was a stinker. Promoted on the backs of some winners from that SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE (can't remember if it was Canada or U.S.) show whick I can't stand in the first place, it seemed to me they couldn't even make the boogieing interesting. Then again, I'm not the vacuous couch tater this inane drivel was targeted at and the only reason I suffered through the damn thing is because CTV slapped in in front of the season finale of CRIMINAL MINDS. Alas, I will admit to enjoying Shauna MacDonald (of TRAILER PARK BOYS and SAW fame not to mention the pride of Antigonish, N.S.) but then you could put her in a test pattern and I'd be entertained.

Edge of Darkness

2010-06-01T10:19:00.003-04:00

I'm happy to say this is one of those rare cases where I HAVEN'T seen the original British TV series this was based on (same with STATE OF PLAY both in need of viewing) so I can't make all cafe chic and high brow pooh pooh on how badly Martin Campbell fucked it up. Happy because I was able to watch this with clean eyes as it were and I sure as hell liked what I saw. Then again, how could Campell screw it up when there were only six episodes in the series and he directed them all, besides, from CASINO ROYALE to THE MASK OF ZORRO I just love his film making style and I'm anxious to see what he does with the GREEN LANTERN but we're talking about EDGE OF DARKNESS. It's pretty straight forward stuff being cop's daughter is killed and said cop wants revenge. There are a few interesting twists along the way but all in all it's a forum for Mel Gibson to growl and kick the shit out of anything that gets in the way and here in lay the problem. People have got a serious hate on for Mel these days, right or wrong is of no consequence, they do and this I believe is why so many folks didn't twig to this picture. I loved it and I think Mel was just fine, especially the funky vocals he uses in the part. The suspense is good, pacing fine and the action excellent. There is one car scene that will simply knock your socks off! All of it wrapped up with an ending you'll either love or hate (I thought it worked) making this a definate viewing choice.

Cold Souls

2010-05-31T16:11:00.003-04:00

Right from the get go you know something is odd when a film is based on a Woody Allen dream where he found his soul was a chick pea. A chick pea! Thus we have Paul Giamatti with said soul who decides to try another and a bunch of weird shit happens.
Let's deal with that whole premise first. It seems they tried to market COLD SOULS as a comedy and in this case it fails. Seriously fails. Some have tried to say it's science fiction. Uhhhh...if tossing somebody into what looks to be an industrial chicken cooker and swapping souls can be considered science fiction well bully! It worked, but in my books such malarky is not sci-fi! Then we have the school of thought who feel COLD SOULS not only is an existential examination of life, the "soul" and the whole why are we here bit and is nothing more than a poor mans BEING JOHN MALKOVICH, ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND 0r even ADAPTATION. Yes, there are elements of each to be found in COLD SOULS but to compare them would be along the lines of saying DIRTY HARRY was a rip off of MACBETH. There SEEMS to be something intelectual going on here but as this is the feature directorial debut of Sophie Barthes and have no guage to figure what might be intentional or what may be projected by my own viewing experience. What I can say is I liked COLD SOULS despite the fact Giamatti star in it and I hate him! HATE HIM! More than than dude from CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM. Like Larry David I have nothing personal against Giamatti but both play characters I can liken to a mutated Woody Allen on a serious crack binge and it simply makes my skin crawl. That said, it's another fantastic performance from Giamatti but it is his straight faced delivery that makes it so hard to ascertain if this was meant to be a comedy or not. Doesn't matter, what does matter is the flick looks great, has an interesting pace, shows us some Russian actresses we rarely see over here (Dina Korzun, Natalia Zvereva), gives us some itneresting work from David Straithairn, Emily Watson and Lauren Ambrose and it MAKES US THINK. Perfect for a date at the rep cin with some strong coffee and even stronger cigarettes later. I can hardly wait to see what Barthes gives us next.

R.I.P.-Dennis Hopper

2010-05-30T10:36:00.001-04:00

mannnnnnnnnnn

The Novice (Crossroads)

2010-05-21T16:04:00.002-04:00

I've never heard of Murray Robinson but he produced, wrote and directed this little oddball number about a young Jesuit priest wannabe (Jacob Pitts) who runs into Amy Acker and has has second thoughts. Actually, he was having second thoughts before he ran into Acker but I gotta say I'd be leaving the seminary for ANGEL's "Fred" quicker than you could snap a rosary! This is Robinson's only film to date and while having a made for TV feel it is a nice, clean, piece of work. He pulls together a cast of television faces you may not know by name but certainly by face including Matthew Carey, William Lee Scott and even Orson Bean who goes all the way back to the original TWILIGHT ZONE. Interesting roles for Alan Arkin and Frank Langella, both priests, in this pleasant little film.

The Company

2010-05-21T13:21:00.002-04:00

I had no idea Neve Campbell used to be involved in ballet, I gather she knew that so she went out adn wrote and produced THE COMPANY which is, you guessed it, all about the ballet. So much in fact it comes of as a documentary with a ton of modern ballet pieces with a little bit of drama thrown in. I'm not going to slam anybody, especially Neve, for putting their money where their heart's are and getting Robert Altman to direct was a major coupe but truth be told THE COMPANY didn't do much for me. It is beautiful IF you happen to like this style of dance but it kept reminding me of shorts I used to see on BRAVO in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep. Malcolm McDowell is fantastic as director of the troupe and James Franco serves well as the love interest when the non-dance action happens but this one, as visually beautiful as it is, will most like be for patrons of the arts only.

Desaccord parfait (Twice Upon a Time)

2010-05-21T10:25:00.002-04:00

Antoine de Caunes directs wrote and directed this cerebral comedy involving a celebrity couple who meet again after thirty years. It's an interesting combination of the British and French styles of humor helmed by the impeccable talents of Jean Rochefort and Charlotte Rampling. Rochefort as the director still moved by his actress muse shows why he is so respected in France but the true talent here is Rampling who not only shows how to age gracefully but displays fire and screen passion of such quality it puts most of the new crop of actresses to shame. While a complex balance is maintained between the dramatic and comedic elements we are given an interesting look at the lives of older couples and between the laughs some serious thoughts are explored. The late Ian Richardson has some fine moments and Charles Dance and CORONATION STREET's Simon Kunz show up as does Boy George in a fun cameo. There is a great scene in a leather piano bar and Winston the bulldog damn near steals the show. Still, despite the talent pool this one is carried by Rampling who is simply outstanding. Too slow for the younger set but certainly worth the older crowd's time.

The Walker

2010-05-20T11:07:00.002-04:00

Woody Harrelson claimed he would not do publicity for this film because he was unhappy with his performance which in my mind was a polite way of him saying "boy howdy this is one bad film".

It is and it shouldn't be.

I had to watch it half a dozen time to figure out where the great Paul Schrader went wrong and the best I can come up with is THE WALKER would have been just fine if it had been made and released in the early '80s. It's along the lines of the problem many have when they rewatch Brian De Palma's remake of SCARFACE. Great film but it is as firmly rooted in 1983 as MIAMI VICE and thus supremely dated. With THE WALKER, Schrader is dealing with modern related events but he presents it in the same manner as AMERICAN GIGOLO or CAT PEOPLE and the result is one friggin' mighty boring film and a sadly wasted all-star cast. Serious, the star power here is off the chart. Besides Harrelson, who IS GREAT as the gay male lead here, we have Kristin Scott Thomas who delivers easily the worst performance of her life, Lauren Bacall who has but a moment to shine, Lily Tomlin in a serious role who does not get a single laugh and Willem DaFoe in a cameo that just screams "hurry up and get me the fuck out of here". That cameo by the way happens to be for a major character! Strangely enough, while everybody but Harrelson flounders, Ned Beatty stepped up to the plate and smacked off a home run with his part and fans of The Ned may want to sit through this ONLY because of him. As for everybody else, other than film students who should see this for, if nothing else, discussion purposes, keep walking as there really isn't much to concern you here.

Fluff and Fold

2010-05-11T13:04:00.003-04:00

Toronto's Brad Armstrong has been a powerhouse in the adult film industry not only as a performer but an extremely respected director. He stands out in the field because he actually knows HOW to make a film so when you view one of his features you get a genuine picture not just a random sequence of naughty hotties bangin' their ever lovin' brains out. With FLUFF AND FOLD Armstrong ventures into the comedic world essentialy taking HIGH FIDELITY and moving it to a laundromat and surprisingly enough he managed to deliver a product funnier than what he copped! Not quite an all-star cast but a stellar one with Jessica Drake, Cherokee and Lezley Zen with Armstrong himself, Randy Spears and Tommy Gunn along for the ride. Good clean fun here with some great action though I must confess it says something when you are more turned on by the laundry doing part than the actual matters at hand.

Pandorum

2010-05-10T10:58:00.003-04:00

Described by many as ALIEN meets RESIDENT EVIL I would be more apt to describe PANDORUM as Dennis Quaid loses his shit in deep space. It's a great loss of shit mind you but that's pretty much the extent of what makes PANDORUM unique. Not a bad film at all but other than the ending we've seen it all before. The Travis Milloy script tries to gussy up what is essentially an action film with some science and back story but in the end you won't care.....you'll just want to see the aliens do their thing and bo do they ever. Christian Alvart directs a sharp, atmospheric spook house here but unless you have one honkin' home theatre system much of the effect will be lost.

R.I.P.-Lena Horne

2010-05-10T10:27:00.001-04:00

They sure don't make them like that anymore.

The Flock

2010-05-09T11:49:00.002-04:00

Yet another motion picture where the public and critics got their hate on for Richard Gere. It's always hard to pin-point why we want to dislike him so much, either PRETTY WOMAN or the whole free Tibet thing, not sure, but when the script warrants the dude can act. Here he plays a civil servant charged with the duty of keeping track of registered sex offenders. At the end of the line and showing his replacement, Claire Danes (slighlty miscast but more than up for the task), the ropes when he loses it and starts going all Denzel Washington. Think TRAINING DAY meets SE7EN and you have an idea where THE FLOCK is going. Aside from Gere delivering the goods we have the direction of Wai-Keung Lau whose work we don't often see in these parts. His style works for what is a much heavier product than the trailers would have you believe and there is some pervertedly fucked up shit on display here which might explain why Ray Wise signed on. Special mention must be made of French Stewart of 3RD ROCK FROM THE SUN fame who, while always strange, is a bonafide creepshow in this outing. Little Avril Lavigne comes out to play as does KayDee Strickland doing her best work since THE GRUDGE. In the end though it all comes down to Gere and when he gets down rough and tumble he's a hard man to beat. Great to see he can still pull it off.

The Stepfather

2010-05-09T10:17:00.004-04:00

The 1987 original had some extra creep factor as it featured Terry O'Quinn with hair but that is a blurb for another day. Today we have the 2009 Nelson McCormack remake which is of some import namely being McCormack is rumored to be directing the 24 feature. He has already done a couple of the TV episodes as well as work on numerous of our favorite shows but to date his films include only TV jobbies and a dismal remake of PROM NIGHT. With THE STEPFATHER we have a stronger showing with Dylan Walsh stepping into O'Quinn's role. It's standard fare but the teen set will get a thrill from it with Penn Badgley of GOSSIP GIRL fame and the lovely Amber Heard, who we are about to see alongside Johnny Depp in Hunter S. Thompson's THE RUM DIARY, as the teens spooked by ol' stepdaddy. The end was a little rushed considering the tension built throughout the film but it still delivers a nice kick. More notable is the directing style which leads me to think McCormack can properly helm the 24 project.

Breach

2010-05-09T09:57:00.002-04:00

For those who prefer their espionage cold BREACH will be a breath of icey fresh air. Based on the true story of America's most devastating mole and how a veteran team with the help of a green operative orchestrated his downfall BREACH manages some tense moments while staying entirely believable. For this reason some may find it a bit tedious but I suggest doing your utmost to surmount this reaction as the picture contains many gems the biggest being Chris Cooper. As the double agent Robert Hanssen he gives a menacing and authentic performance, up there with his finest work and this floats BREACH across it's ponds of weakness. While Laura Linney is a great actress she is slightly miscast and you will tempted to think the same of Ryan Phillippe as the young Eric O'Neill. This is only writer Billy Ray's second film in te big chair but he does a great job on evolving Phillippe from the new bright eyed kid to quickly jaded man with precision and the effect is a powerful one. While there are no great surprises story wise in BREACH is does work as a taught character study and if you get a chance to grab a cheap copy on DVD do so as the extras are a grande compliment to the film down to DATELINE's MOLE episode and a full commentary with Ray and the real like Eric O'Neill.

Leidenschaftliche Blumchen (Boarding School)

2010-05-08T19:24:00.002-04:00

I don't care how many naked girlies they threw into this sorry excuse for a film, given the chance I would have rounded them up like a litter of kittens and drowned the lot! OK, maybe not that extreme but the giggling and cackling going on here drove me 'round the firggin' bend. It's one of those Euro soft-core jobbies along the lines of LAURA and EMANUEL which I've never been fond of to begin with but for those of you into this tepid crap there may be some points of interest. Yes, we have a barely 19 year old Nastajja Kinski running around half naked for most of the picture but that's nothing new and while this marks the debuts of Sean Chapman (HELLRAISER) and Fabiana Udenio (BABYLON 5) I can't find much nice to say about this one. The music will drive you nuts, the soft focus make you go crosseyed and the giggling will make you want to defenestrate yourself...even if you live in a basement apartment!

Brief Encounter

2010-05-08T19:06:00.002-04:00

Here we have another amazing film based on the work of Noel Coward and in this case it earned the late great David Lean his first two Oscar nominations. Celia Johnson and Tevor Howard throw off literal sparks as the strangers who meet at the train station for the titled brief encounter and the reults a film making perfection. Serious. I often wonder if such a film could be made like this today as BRIEF ENCOUNTER set so many standards. Much has been written about this film from the directing to the acting and even the choice of music so I need not go on other than say this one is a must see.

Hudson Hawk

2010-05-08T18:50:00.002-04:00

Despite being one giant in-joke and ham-job for Bruce Willis HUDSON HAWK is on heck of a fun film and I tend to not get along with those who would trash it. Just great absurd, nonsensical fun in which all involved look to be having a great time. Hell, even Daivd (take off your sunglasses, star off into space and insert snappy comment here) Caruso is entertaining. Danny Aiello is the perfect partner for Willis and I still hope they manage to get the sequel off the ground. James Coburn is a howl and future Leatherface Andrew Bryniarski gets some AMAZING laugs as Butterfinger. Sandra Berhard and Richard E. Grant as the Mayflower couple are downright diabolical and we have the vocal talents of the great Frank Welker as Bunny and narration by William Conrad! All in all and raucous feast where one must leave their snobbery at the door.

Psycho III

2010-05-08T18:25:00.002-04:00

While I have great love for Anthony Perkins and the Norman Bates character there is no way in hell this should have let him have his directorial debut with this feature. It's simply too vane and Perkins hams it up to the point of utter distraction. About the only thing he did right was bring back Virginia Gregg (sadly her final film) who voiced mother in the original as well as the sequel. Perkins had worked on Ken Russell's CRIMES OF PASSION before this and it seems as though this is what he used as inspiration here the result being we are subject to far more psychosexual introspection than we should be and it guts the heart out of the picture. By all means worth a look for the die hards but by no stretch of the imagination a good film.

Cet obscur objet du desir (That Obscure Object of Desire)

2010-05-08T18:09:00.002-04:00

The last film of surrealist master Luis Bunuel earned him his second Oscar nomination but amazingly he never grabbed on of the coveted statues. Here the object of desire is a woman lusted after by Fernando Rey. Said object is portrayed by tow actresses and is in my opinion one of the greatest examples of film snobs and critics reading themes into the work which were never there. Conchita was originally played by Carole Bouquet but when she quit half way through production Bunel brought Angela Molina in as a replacement. The nature of Bunuel's work made many believe this was intentional to reresent different aspects of the Conchita character when it was merely circumstancial logistics. Just the same, it has an interesting effect and while the slow moving action unfolds around the growing actions of terrorist bombers we are presented with one of the most powerful endings in any of Bunuel's work. Profound imagery and direction this is a special film but will not be to the taste of all.

Beyond the City Limits (Rip it Off)

2010-05-08T18:01:00.002-04:00

Looks like we have another money laundering nightmare of a flick here as this is one sloppy, jumbled mess of a film. Nastajja Kinski adds another clunker to her resume, Jennifer Esposito is wretched, Alyson Hannigan (with some funky eyebrow tats happening) wasted, fellow BUFFY/ANGEL alumni Alexis Denisof laughable as a Russian mobster with one of the worst accents I've EVER heard. Brian McCardie and Todd Field get some intentional laughs but in all honesty the most interesting aspect I found in this film was the fucking fish! At least we now know what happened to Roxanne Hart of HIGHLANDER fame who gets dragged into the amazing mess. Avoid at all costs!

Asylum

2010-05-08T17:26:00.002-04:00

I have biased opinions here being a fan of Patrick McGrath's written work so I'll say this right off, if you found SPIDER slow don't even think of bothering with ASYLUM. Set in 50's England, the sadly late Natasha Richardson stars as a lady who undergoes a sexual awakening of dire proportions. The wife of a psychiatrist stationed to a institution for the criminaly insane she soon finds hersef embroiled in an affair with one of the inmates. Sounds like a simple story but in the hands of McGrath, who was raised next to one for real where his father worked, the material takes on an air of authority and the subtleties in the story give this more weight than is often seen. David Mackenzie has an interesting directing style which work well in this enviroment and he gets solid work from his cast. It's a shame Richardson was unable to work with her husband Liam Neeson as was intended but issues with KINSEY prevented this. Just the same, we get fine performances out of Marton Csokas, Joss Ackland and the great Ian McKellen. Lot of sex in this one but like every other aspect of ASYLUM it is very stark and brutal. Look for McGrath in cameo as one of the inmates.

Hooray for Horrorwood

2010-05-08T14:23:00.002-04:00

Before the days of FANGORIA the groovy ghoulies all counted on Forrest J. Ackerman's FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND for info on all things horrible and fantastic. With this documentary we take a look at the man, the history of the magazine, the careers of horror greats Bela Lugosi and Lon Chaney Sr as well as an intimate tour of the Ackermuseum. Certainly of interest to monster junkies but that's about it.

Easy Virtue

2010-05-08T13:53:00.002-04:00

Delightful! There is a word you don't hear me use too often but it succinctly sums up how I feel about Stephen Elliott's film adaptation of Noel Coward's play. From top to bottom this film delivers, amazing acting, stunning script and an ending for the ages. For Jessica Biel to hold her own against the likes of Kristen Scott Thomas is amazing enough but for both to utterly excel in their roles is nothing short if incredible. I've never been a fan of Colin Firth, not a personal thing but an issue with the characters he plays (I've not yet seen A SINGLE MAN which I hear is great) but he is perfectly suited to the skin of Mr. Whittaker and for my money this is his greatest work to date. Alas, the same can be said for all involved as the casting is impeccable right down to Kris Marshall as the butler Furber. Alongside all of this acting talent and and blessed script is Elliott's directing style. We've seen it before in EYE OF THE BEHOLDER and THE ADVANTURES OF PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT but in EASY VIRTUE is raises the bar. There is one scene in particular involving a record and a turntable which is right up there with the shower scene in PSYCHO and it these little things combined with solid basics that makes EASY VIRTUE so special. Again delightful and I do wish we'd see more films like this hitting the silver screen.

The Brothers Bloom

2010-05-08T13:38:00.002-04:00

I think I can be forgiven for thinking writer/director Rian Johnson might have read Michael Chabon's THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF KAVALIER & CLAY as he was flushing out THE BROTHERS BLOOM as there are many similarities between the two. This isn't a bad thing but I found it rather distracting. Still, from the opening shot with a one legged cat shuffling along on some wheeled contraption you pretty much no what you are in for. The principal cast are more than effective in conveying the manic nature of this tale concerning the title mentioned con artist brothers played to perfection by Adrien Brody and Mark Ruffalo. Joined by Rachel Weisz they embark on a series of maladjusted happenings destined to entertain the most jaded viewer. While smart, sexy and downright explosive sadly THE BROTHERS BLOOM never manages to elevate itself above average. Rinko Kikuchi is fabulous as Bang Bang, a character bound to become a cult favorite in years to come, and both Robbie Coltrane and Maximilian Schell have great bit parts but overall this viewer was left wanting more at films end. Certainly worth taking a chance on.

The Mysteries of Pittsburgh

2010-05-08T13:04:00.002-04:00

Considering the talent involved here I can't help but say I expected a bit more from THE MYSTERIES OF PITTSBURG. Then again, this wasn't one of Michael Chabon's better books and I only say this as compared to WONDER BOYS and THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF KAVALIER & CLAY. All of the elements we a familiar with in Chabon's work are here but they never quite congeal and a disjointed as his stroies may seem they usually pull together nicely at the end and this one doesn't. Fine perormace from Jon Foster as Art Bechstein, who is out to live it up before his life as a stock broker begins. Interesting dynamics between his gangster father, downplayed by Nick Nolte and his dual love interests in Peter Sarsgaard and Sienna Miller. Mena Suvari floats around the action causing some interesting bits of trouble but the bottom line is this one his for a night when nothing else is on or if you happen to be a Chabon fan in which case I might remind you of how Chuck Palahniuk's CHOKE turned out.

My Zinc Bed

2010-05-08T12:38:00.002-04:00

In defence of MY ZINC BED (I have no friggin' idea just WHAT the title is supposed to mean) it was made for television but even this does not excuse the fact it is a play that doesn't work in movie film. I've never seen this on stage but while watching David Hare's (THE HOURS, THE READER) work presented in this fashion I couldn't help but think it would work so much better in a dark warehouse with benches and booze bottles scattered about the floor. The booze bottles are important as MY ZINC BED is about just that, a rich old boozer, Jonathan Pryce, antogonizing two recovering addicts played by Paddy Considine and Uma Thurman. What we have thoughout is one hell of a lot of bitching and blah blah blah which certainly reminded me of an AA meeting and bored the living shit out of me. Shame too as the performances are great but it just goes on and on and on and by gawd you'll be driven to drink after the first half hour. Fans of Thurman will certainly want to see it if for no other reason the funky accent she uses but I'm pretty sure most of you will agree this one should have stayed on the lighted boards.

Iron Man 2

2010-05-08T11:17:00.002-04:00

For some reason I wasn't expecting much from the first IRON MAN and I wasn't about to from the sequel. Granted of late we're finding better bang for our buck in comic based frachises these days but more often than not film makers just rehash what worked in the first and leave it at that. We can thank our banging anvils they didn't do that with IRON MAN 2. Allow me to say I don't know what film the "big critics" were watching to pan this one so bad as it is a fine follow up as well as an adequate gateway to events about to unfold in the Marvel Universe. While director Jon Favreau has come under fire for somewhat pushing Robert Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark character to the sidelines in order to explore other players on the field fanboys at large need not despair. There is plenty of Downey Jr. action to go around but there are also lots of others things to consider namely being Mickey Rourke and Sam Rockwell. Rourke is the wild card here and I can see why some have issues with his vilain Ivan Vanko (actually a combo of two comic book baddies, Crimson Dynamo and Whiplash). Rourke is fabulous and his research into the culture of the Russian underworld pays off in spades yet the character feels like he's in the wrong film. Rourke plays it so straight you feel he'd be better suited for the BOURNE series than being stuck here with the jokes and abundant one-liners. I had no problems myself but others have. I did have an issue with Favreau's use of slow motion during the Monaco Gran Prix scene. I think it greatly detracted from what should have been a mind blowing sequence but that's just me. As for Sam Rockwell, who we know and love from GALAXY QUEST and THE GREEN MILE, he once again does what he does best, annoy the hell out of you. A radical envisionment of the comic book version, I'm even pursits will forgive the decision as it makes far more sense to have a contemporary business rival for Stark and Rockwell is perfect. I would have liked to have seen more of Scarlett Johannson who sadly is slightly wasted here, her Black Widow character not even being named in this outing but like Samuel L. Jackson's Nick Fury it's more a teaser of things to come and when Johnasson does get to bust a move it's certainly worth it. Odd to see Don Cheadle steppingin to replace Terrence Howard as Rhodey and Gary Shandling has a killer cameo. Speaking of cameos look for Stan Lee as Larry King in a split second shot. All of this is backed by a smart script which is dense enough to make multi viewings of IRON MAN 2 probable. Be sure to stay through the end credits for a revealing bit of information.

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

2010-05-04T10:44:00.002-04:00

Hard to say but if ever there were a man to have a fetish for gigantomastia it would have been Russ Meyer. I'm trusting you are well aware of his film work and his love for the bustier of the fair sex and in FASTER PUSSYCAT! KILL! KILL! we have one of his most famous films, perhaps second only to BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS. Interesting thing is other than midnight film cultists most have never seen the picture, they just know the title which neatly wraps up the elements Meyer felt a good film should have, speed, sex and violence. This one has it all, mind you as much as he could get away with in 1965, and most of it being meted out by the great Tura Santana who is pretty much an underground star on this part alone. It was nice to "see" her in Rob Zombie's THE HAUNTED WORLD OF EL SUPERBEASTO last year and this is certainly a testement to her counter-culture status. As a film, FPKK is a matter of taste and you can easily see the influence it had on John Waters. Required viewing for underground film buffs but little here for the mainstream viewer.

Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

2010-05-04T10:08:00.002-04:00

Appatently May is Cheeseburger Month (I thought every month was) and in honour of this White Castle have issued a burger scented candle. You read that correctly, a burger scented candle. Now, in defence of the fast food chain (older than McDonald's believe it or not) the proceeds from said candles will go to austism research. I don't make this stuff up. That being said, let's take a look back at the 2004 classic of modern comedy. Sure, THE HANGOVER is the flavor of the month but I didn't think it came close to this, the first of the HAROLD & KUMAR flicks which is flat out, bust your friggin' gut funny. Why Cho and Penn have not become the modern day Lewis & Dean or even Cheech & Chong might have something to do wth Penn being involved with the Obama Administration though word is they will return for a Christmas film to be shot in 3-D! Again, I don't make this shit up.....HAROLD & KUMAR IN 3 FRIGGIN' D! When I was talking about this with the pub-gals one piped up that it would suck as Neil Patrick Harris wouldn't be back as he was killed in ESCAPE FROM GUANTANAMO BAY to which I said somebody missed the end credits as there were indeeds signs of life in NPH. To my knowledge there wasn't in his carreer until WHITE CASTLE was released. After that his was riding high (no pun intended) as a once again pop icon. There is no need for me to ramble on here, HAROLD & KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE is a classic, smart, gross, and funny as fuck. The cheetah will make you piss your pants and even Christopher Meloni manages to lighten up!

A Nightmare on Elm Street

2010-05-02T13:46:00.003-04:00

As I remember it was a bitter cold and snowy day in November when I was outside a cinema in Halifax, Nova Scotia waiting to see what Wes Craven had come up with and, a little under two hours later walked out thinking "Well, this is the start of something new." It was. Unless you lived through the '80s it's hard to understand just what the Freddy phenomenon was. I was having this conversation with a film critic (one who gets paid....BASTARD!) the other day and he was of the mind it was just the whole youth in revolt thing playing out. I'm of the school of thought, it was much darker. Aside from another "pop' icon who I shan't mention for fear of a true horror show law suit (try mentioning a certan day-time talk show icon and you end up in the same shark tank). What other child molesting psycho ended up on the t-shirts of millions and had his own TV show? This isn't a slight against Robert Englund, a truly wonderful man, and one must remember the sexual abuse element of The Krueger character was never explored, perhaps implied but never brought out in the open. Not sure Englund would have stayed on as long if they had. Just the same, I always suspected the counter culture success of Freddy was in fact why so many children of that generaton WERE abused, for real, and this was a severe in the face up yours to the older folks and a bloody damn good way of saying "Hey, we SEE you....turn blue ya fawkin' creeps".
I may be wrong, just the same, it's 2010, there is a new nightmare happening on ol' Elm St. and that skeletal abuse cat is well out of the proverbial body bag.
The critics at large (even my buddy) took their own razor blades to this remake...no need...a cash grab... boring...what's the point etc.
Uh........32 big large million so far on opening weekend should answer part of the "what's the point" question and back up the cash grab aspect. Question is, was it worth it...answer....yes. While the original holds up amazingly well (seriously....it does) this update works just a bit better for the modern age. I won't ruin the good stuff for you but, they flush out the motivation behind the events in a way we didn't see in the series before. Samuel Bayer's work in the music video world is evident in some parts but not so much so that you get a headache from the rapid editiing style so many others make when they switch from the tube to the big screen. What struck me most about the new nightmare was casting. I thought Rooney Mara was fantastic as the new Nancy and she has a great partner in Kyle Gallner. Ah yes, Kyle Gallner. Despite having seen him in numerous TV shows (short stint on CSI: NEW YORK) I still can't look at him without thinking I'm watching Wil Wheaton but, he does a great job with his part so I must confess the big treat for me was Katie Cassidy. I don't care if she's David's little girl or not, she is SMOKIN' hot and will no doubt be causing a "different" type of night dreams for the teenagers in the weeks to come.
Of course, the big issue is Jacke Earle Haley as Freddy. I liked him for the most part but I am not overly fond of the new makeup design. It's not the face, though had he been using Mont Source Unique Shaving Solution he might not look so bad, but the eyes! They have this alien/cat like quality that for some reason seem out of place. A small point I know, but it's my job to tell you.
To wrap this all up, the new one is worth your money. Hard to say if it will reboot the franchise as such but, it is certainly a fine stand-alone.
I walked in opening day as I had done 26 years ago and I felt old and when I left, well, I didn't think it was the start of something new but it wasn't a bad beginning to a new future.

Broken

2010-04-28T18:40:00.003-04:00

There is a great line from SOUTH PARK where Cartman goes on a rant concerning foreign art films where he states they are nothing but "gay cowboys sitting around a campfire eating pudding". One could take that a step further and say American art films are nothing more than "people sitting around coffee shops and getting all fucked up on drugs and having sex with anything that moves". This pretty much sums up BROKEN, which I kind of liked but I can't say I'd recomend it to anyone. I've always said I could watch Heather Graham on the bloody Shopping Network if I had to but BROKEN sure pushed that idea....hard.....and do I really need to Jeremy Sisto play another screwball slime-bucket. How Linda Hamilton ended up in this "film" is beyond me and the music...oh...the music, if you want to call it that, will have you wanting to pull your hair out midway through. Not an outright trashing from me but viewer beware!

The Grudge 3

2010-04-28T17:53:00.003-04:00

There it was on the new release shelf, direct to DVD, yet another GRUDGE as if they hadn't managed to wring enough cash from poor Kayako's hair. There it sat on sell-through, ever dropping in price until I could resist it no more and alas we embark on a look st THE GRUDGE 3.
Right off, the scariest thing about this one is how much two of my favorite A-list hotties have aged being Marina Sirtis and Shawnee Smith. No, I'm not insulting them it was merely the observation of time passing and this leads into my issues with THE GRUDGE 3....Ive seen it all before.. That being said this, the first period not to have been directed by Takashi Shimizu, isn't all that bad. It has a fair story, good acting, some nice scares and even more blood than we've seen in the American versions. Sadly, we have a new Kayako as I gather some thought Takako Fuji was too old. I'd rather think she was simply fed up with donning the white body paint and twisting herself into god knows what positions on a cold soundstage but that's just me. Same for the spooky cat kid Toshio now played by Shimba Tsuchiya. Problem here is the kids too damn big for the role and when the character shows up you almost expect the little bug eyed fucker to go (insert Japanese here) "dude, fuck off, I'm playin' Xbox here and you're harshing my buzz" and for my money they should have found Garrett Masuda who was the ghost kid in SCARY MOVIE 4 to play the part. Aiko Horiuchi is a fine replacement for Fuji but my original point was meant to be I'm getting old. As bad as the American GRUDGE 2 was I was at least happy to see the old crew back in action. Now, with a new breed and the sex symbols of my younger years aging...well...as I said before...that's scary. For gawd's sake, they are now remaking the films of my youth on such a regular basis (A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET anybody?) that I feel like I'm in a time-warp. Why just the other day I heard a cover OF A cover which was already a cover OF A cover dammit but I digress. THE GRUDGE 3 was good enough they might get my money a little quicker when number 4 hits the stands which, just like this curse, is inevitable.

Crazy Heart

2010-04-28T13:28:00.003-04:00

Remember THE X-FILES episode RUSH? Remember the hunky (so I'm told) "speed" freak Max Haren? He was played by Scott Cooper and who would have though a mere ten years later he would be directing Jeff Bridges to his first Oscar. I sure wouldn't have but that's exactly what he did and because of that Oscar I don't feel much need to babble on about CRAZY HEART. Was Bridges good, did he deserve the gold statue...yes and yes. Should he have sang, maybe not. I found that to be the weakest part of the film. Was Maggie Gyllenhall too young to play the love interest. Considering it's a story about a country and western singer I didn't think so and I'm of the opinion she did a mighty fine job. Was Colin Farrell believable? Knowing the way new country is I certainly thought so and I'm of the opinion he did a mighty fine job. Should T. Bone Burnett and Bobby Duvall duke it out for God-hood? Nah.....let T-Bone have it when Robert is sleeping and I'm of the opinion they both did mighty fine in their respective jobs. Is it THE WRESTLER with a twang? Similar story but the same can be said about many things and I'm of the opinion CRAZY HEART does a mighty damn fine job.

The Steam Experiment (The Chaos Experiment)

2010-04-28T12:50:00.002-04:00

For those wanting a SAW with a bit more brains THE STEAM EXPERIMENT may very be the answer. Not a fantastic picture but unique in it's approach and, no pun intended, execution. Simple premise has Val Kilmer playing a scientist gone mad who lock six people in a steam bath as a way to prove a theory and make a larger point. Sure, not unique but the way Philippe Martinez (another predominantly producer turned director) puts it together makes it work when another style might not have. Kilmer is a lot of fun here, if you want to call it that, and I commend him for his continued support of independants and it's because of him and a few other "stars" that THE STEAM EXPERIMENT stands out. Armand Assante has it up as the detective investigating Kilmer and while the whole thing might have been filmed in a day it looks like he's having fun. Also having fun is Eric Roberts whose dialogue alone is enough reason to watch the little psycho thriller. With support in the steam room from Cordelia Reynolds, Eve Mauro and Megan Brown this is one experiment you'd do well to partake in.

The Haunting of Molly Hartley

2010-04-28T12:28:00.002-04:00

I'm often asked why I bother to keep this blog when a site like IMDB exists and this film would be a good way to start. Pop over to www.imdb.com and you will find THE HAUNTING OF MOLLY HARTLEY rated at a whopping 3.6/10. Read through the user comments and you will discover one mighty heavy hate campaign against it and why you wonder is this important. Because this haunting isn't as bad as they claim. It marks the directorial debut of producer Mickey Liddell and while I'll grant you he's a little zinger happy in this project he has delivered a more than adequate teen set spooker. Haley Bennett does a great job as Molly and with Shannon Woodward, AnnLynne McCord and Shanna Collins (fantastic as a bible thumping psycho!) by her side this could easily be a CARRIE meets TWILIGHT gig. It's certainly not the greatest film but when you have a bunch of IMDB users ripping it a new asshole and they can't even wrap their heads around the "twist ending" (which, by the way, if you don't see coming means you've probably never seen a horror film before) then it is necessary for folks like me to have blogs like this. You'll have a sense of having seen much of it before but it's still worth a shot when nothing else is in the slot.

Untraceable

2010-04-28T08:33:00.003-04:00

If you will like UNTRACEABLE depends on two things, if you like the films of Gregory Hoblit (PRIMAL FEAR, FREQUENCY, HART'S WAR, FRACTURE) and if you can handle Diane Lane in the lead. Both seem to be an either you love or hate proposition, in my case I fall under the love category. While UNTRACEABLE is nothing special to write home about it does achieve what films of this nature are supposed to...it keeps you on the edge of your seat while entertaining you for a couple of hours. Will you remember it a day later....maybe one scene but who cares. As Howard Stern used to say, "life is simple, if it's good you have a job you don't hate, you do it, go home and hopefully have a meal and a movie that doesn't suck and you get laid. Life is good".....or something like that. UNTRACEABLE doesn't suck.

The Hangover

2010-04-28T08:05:00.002-04:00

I don't imagine there is any need for me to blurb much on this sucker, it seems to have recently set some record for most number of DVDs sold (not sure if AVATAR beat it yet or not) and the cross section of folks who have not only enjoyed but seen it several times should tell you all but for those who need prompting...well....it has a naked Asian with a crowbar flying out of a trunk and an incident with Mike Tyson's tiger. Yeah, the real Mike Tyson. Oh, and Heather Graham plays a stripper. These three elements by themselves means THE HANGOVER should have won a fucking Oscar in my books.

The Panic Room

2010-04-27T23:37:00.002-04:00

The thing I found puzzling about THE PANIC ROOM was the fact it was directed by David Fincher......it's was just sooooooooooooo unlike anything we'd seen from him before. Then of course came ZODIAC, which is similar but then it didn't prepare us for THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON so it's fair to say Fincher is a hard bird to predict. Unfortunately THE PANIC ROOM isn't but this is not necessarily a bad thing. Jodi Foster always manages to elevate a project but when you throw in Forrest Whitaker and Dwight Yoakam in one of his best roles and you end up with something special. Oh, did I mention this was an early role for Kristen Stewart she of the whole TWILIGHT craze and I'll be the first to admit she cranks out some good work here. We even get a cameo from TWIN PEAKS' Ian Buchanan and a vocal bit from Nicole Kidman and the Howard Shore music is perfect for this simple but effective story which once again proves that proper direction of good talent can make anything watchable.

Lucky Numbers

2010-04-27T22:53:00.002-04:00

It doesn't matter if LUCKY NUMBERS is one of Norah Ephron's better films or not, it has something we all want to see, namely Lisa Kudrow putting a strange on Michael Moore! It's a clever little picture with a standard showing from John Travolta and some fine backing work from Tim Roth and Ed O'Neill but when you get right down to it there is nothing to make it stand out from the thousands of others in the same ilk. Then again, in the hands of Ephron even an average work if worth one's time and there is the death of Moore I mentioned.

The Marine 2

2010-04-27T22:29:00.002-04:00

No, I'm not going to write great things about THE MARINE 2 because it stars Ted DiBiase Jr. and is a WWE Films production. No, I won't do that because I don't have to. If you are looking a good little action time waster you could do far worse than this one. I'll admit, I was perplexed as to why DiBiase (who got a big win for RAW last night in the draft!) was given a push like this so early, dare I say he seemed just a tad to green for something like this and THE MARINE 2 would have been better if they stuck more to rockem sockem than actually expecting Ted to carry the drama. I mean, it looks like he took his acting lessons from Randy Orton. I'm not joking and fans of the squared circle will definately notice this. On a different note it's good to see Roel Reine directing style as many of us here at INK CASUALTY are anticipating the upcoming DEATH RACE: FRANKENSTEIN LIVES. If the visuals are as nice in that as they are in THE MARINE 2 then it should be a good one! Michael Rooker has a couple of moments and Lara Cox of THE LOST WORLD series provides the love interest all backed up by a Trevor Morris score. Yep, you could certainly do worse.

Sliver

2010-04-27T22:11:00.002-04:00

Producers were banking heavily on Sharon Stone's star power to transform the Ira Levin novel into a box office smash. It didn't do bad but never quite translated the way it should have and no doubt in fifty years this will be looked upon as early '90s camp. Stone, who we just saw in LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT as Stabler's former partner and from the looks of will be back in future episodes, is a special treat in SLIVER and amazingl enough manages to draw some sparks from her work with William Baldwin in one of his better outings but it's simply not enough to make for a good picture. Phillip Noyce is a well versed director and I've said this before and will certainly say this again, it looks like the studio tinkered this flick into mediocracy so we shan't blame Noyce or the players. Speaking of players there is plent of star gazing to be had here with names like CCH Pounder, Martin Landau, Polly Walker, the late Nina Foch as a sorely miscast Tom Beringer. If nothing else SLIVER brought the music of Enigma to the ears of the masses but the bottom line is if you weren't kickin' it in the '90s SLIVER won't give you much of a stiff prick.

Pirate Radio (The Boat that Rocked)

2010-04-27T14:06:00.002-04:00

For the sheer amount of acting talent involved and the fact comedic writer Richard Curtis was at the helm, PIRATE RADIO should have been one heck of a funny film. It isn't and I'm not sure if Curtis or the investors/studio are to blame. When introducing the deleted scenes Curtis admits the best bits were in fact NOT included in the final print but he fails to tell us exactly why. In any case, he's right so if you are renting the DVD make sure you watch the extras before you take it back because this is where all of the funny bits are. Now, if you try and forget it's supposed to be a comedy and look at it as a British docudrama (it is all fiction mind you but loosely based on events and charactersof the era) then you'll enjoy PIRATE RADIO and the acting is top notch all around, it's merely the pacing which makes it mediocre. As always, Bill Nighy and Phillip Seymour Hoffman are great and it's fab to see Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson in he same film (not at the same time!) again but once again Rhys Ifans steals the show especially a killer scene in the "deletes" I mentioned. As one would expect from a dilm dealing with a 60's radio station the soundtrack is super but sadly I suspect it has a better chance of ending up in your personal collection than the DVD does.

Tenderness

2010-04-25T22:45:00.002-04:00

To my knowledge this flick never even hit the screens in Toronto before it was relegated to DVD which is a shame as this one is a mighty fine sleeper. Like anything based on the late Robert Cormier's work this is not feel good fare and you know a happy ending is far from likely but it won't stop you from watching. Though marketing would have you believe TENDERNESS stars Russell Crowe it is in fact a small but signifigant part. It's a testament to his skill as an actor how effective he is with so little screen time and Laura Dern, with even less, manages to accomplish the same. The lion's share of work falls on on Foster and homegirl Sophie Traub who respond well John Polson's direction. Polson, who recently was involved with HAPPY TOWN, has a natural feel for this sort of material and rather than going for the jugular takes his time to build the tension all of it leading to an ending you probably won't see coming. Would have liked to have seen a bit more of Alexis Dziena but she too makes great use of the time given. Not a late night screener as it is slow in some parts but well worth a peek and certainly one of the better adaptations of Cormier's material.

Married Life

2010-04-25T14:42:00.002-04:00

I can't quite put my finger on why MARRIED LIFE doesn't work but it don't! The acting pool is certainly there and Chris Cooper and Patricia Clarkson are utterly fantastic here but somehow their work is pulled down by a lacklustre showing from Pierce Brosnan who not only looks like he's mailing in his work here but also narrates in a similar fashion. Said narration is so flat is sucks the life out of a rather nice film noire homage. Rachel MacAdams is perfectly cast as the blonde catalyst but she too is wasted as the action continues to focus more on the Brosnan character than it should. All of this aside MARRIED LIFE does wind to a satisfying conclusion and is more than worth a peek on a slow night.

The Squid and the Whale

2010-04-25T14:33:00.002-04:00

To say Noah Baumbach is a one depressed and quriky writer/director may be off the mark but THE SQUID AND THE WHALE, his autobiographical take on divorce sure as hell is. Despite some comedic attemtps on the subject divorce is usually a fucking nightmare and this flick sure nails this on the head, especially the elements affecting a child who is trying to deal with the pains of simply growing up as well as this emotional turmoil. While THE SQUID AND THE WHALE works it will not be to the liking of all. Jeff Daniels and Laura Linney turn in fine performances but the bulk of the work rest on the shoulders of Owen Kline (Kevin's boy!) and Jesse Eisenberg who are both great here. Anna Paquin has some fine moments and even William Badwin brings his A game for a change. Not the most uplifting piece of work but certainly a poignant and authentic character study.

Proof

2010-04-25T14:14:00.002-04:00

Those who are fans of John Madden's prior films SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE and CAPTAIN CORELLI'S MANDOLIN will be left scratching their head after PROOF. David Auburn took the Pulitzer for his play which he adapts for the screen with rather poor results. It's not that PROOF is a bad film as much as it doens't properly translate from the stage to the screen. Gwyneth Paltrow certainly does her best to carry the project and Anthony Hopkins adds some weight but it never seems to find it's flow. The shades of A BEAUTIFUL MIND tend to distract in the sense one feels they've seen this before and when you throw in Jake Gyllenhaal with a character rather something like Donnie Darko all grown up, alive and in advanced university mathematics and the whole thing goes off the rails. An interesting work for sure but will be tedious for many viewers.

The Young Victoria

2010-04-25T13:39:00.002-04:00

You pretty much know what you are in for with the one right from the get go. Unfortunately Emily Blunt is not Cate Blanchett so THE YOUNG VICTORIA never achieves the weight needed for the subject matter. Blunt does her job but never raises the bar and when you are dealing with a person of Victoria's stature more than average is required and this is the overall problem with THE YOUNG VICTORIA, it is merely average. The cast are fair but when Jim Broadbent is the only member to stand out you know you're in trouble. Sure, it snagged an Oscar for the costumes but ONLY because it was a friggin' period piece and this in no way excuses the horrid Sinead O'connor song we are subjected to during the end credits. Odd they would take liberty with the assassination attempt (the first of many) scene showing Prince Albert (Rupert Friend) as being wounded when in fact he wasn't but then again they couldn't even get the date of her notificaton of accession correct. Worth a viewing if these sort of docudramas are your thing otherwise give it a pass.

Shooter

2010-04-21T16:49:00.002-04:00

I still have this problem of thinking of Mark Wahlberg as the underwear model turned poor man's Matt Damon but I'll be the first to admit the guy can act when he's given the right material and a competent director and in SHOOTER we have both. Granted, it's straight forward action with a bit of a puzzle throw in to keep the whole thing interesting but when you boil it down all we want to see is Marky blow some heads off and this his does in spades. Director Antoine Fuqua (TRAINING DAY) is great with this type of fare and once again manages to assemble a great cast for a modest dollar including Danny Glover, Elias Koteas, Rade Serbedzija, Ned Beatty and the lovely Rhona Mitra. Speaking of lovely, great to see Kate Mara, who we'll be seeing in IRON MAN 2, getting some proper screen time and Levon Helm has a killer cameo. SHOOTER seems to have slipped through the cracks when released but don't let this discourage you, SHOOTER hits the target bang on.

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

2010-04-21T10:58:00.002-04:00

Charles Dickens would be doing some serious ass break-dancing in his grave if he caught wind of this stinky revision of A CHRISTMAS CAROL. Go ahead, figure it out from the title and imagine Matthew McConaughey as Scrooge and you pretty much have all you need to know. Michael Douglas, looking mighty old here and I don't think it was makeup, gets a couple of laughs, Jennifer Garner (who I would still watch in dishsoap ads if need be) reaches an all-time low in a project that simply should have been left on the scrap heap when Disney pulled the plug on it after Ben Affleck (who was supposed to do this with Garner) flopped in GIGLI. Funniest moment in the ENTIRE film? Matthew looking out a snowy window and asking a kid with a shovel "is it Christmas?". "No, it's Saturday you idiot!".....and there you have it.

Brothers

2010-04-21T09:49:00.002-04:00

Well, it's now official, I'm over 5000 films behind on this blog and with the way life is going I strongly doubt I'll manage to catch up......doesn't mean I won't try but damned if the task doesn't seem to be a daunting one. This being said, let's make one point about this Jim Sheridan remake of Susanne Bier's 2004 BRODRE, it is NOT a feel good film and oe should set a special block of time aside for it should they deside to give it a view. I found it odd at first they should use a Danish project to tell an American tale though when stripped bare this story is universal. By now you should know the premise, "good" brother is presumed killed in the war, supposed "bad" brother tries to help surviving family cope and "good" brother returns and the shit flies. The theme is an interesting one and I've not seem the original yet to compare but BROTHERS seems to fall short at times, much like skipping stones on a pound it seems to only touch on the emotional issues without diving in. The cast has much to do with this. Jake Gyllenhaal is our lead here as the "bad" brother and while he has a moment or two never quite brings the character to fruition which makes the work of Sam Shepard and Tobey Maguire pretty much a waste. Maguire seems miscast as well though as the film moves on we are exposed to a wicked transformation which allows him to show off his amazing acting skills and though Natalie Portman is certainly more than eye candy she is not given the chance to fully explore her role her best scene being reduced to a powerful moment involving an answering machine. Worth a peek for those of you who like their films serious but there a far meatier offerings out there for you to chew on.

Blue Eyes (Retribution Road)

2010-04-16T09:23:00.002-04:00

Granny Sy was always of the mind if one did not have something nice to say keep your mouth shut. I of course never listened to her but I'm having a hard time slamming this Chuck Walker "film" as it provided some work for veteran Michael Gregory so I'll say this........they managed to keep airplanes out of the shots and there is some nice footage of a snake.

The Blind Side

2010-04-16T09:11:00.003-04:00

THE BLIND SIDE opens with a Sandra Bullock dialogue over the infamous footage of the Lawrence Taylor/Joe Theisman incident and this alone makes the film worth seeing. Did she deserve to beat Streep for the Oscar this year? It's open for debate but there is no denying this was a powerful role for Bullock. All around feel good docudrama about Michael Oher and how he, wth the help of Tuohy family, overcame all obstacles to succeed in life. He was drafted by my Baltimore Ravens and this is truly one of those feel good stories not to be missed. It doesn't matter if you like football or not, there is enough emotional weight all around to make this worth your while.

Wedding Crashers

2010-04-16T08:23:00.002-04:00

Theis eneven offering from director David Dobkin suffers from serious pacing issues pretty much right from the get go. We are forced to suffer (unless you hit the fast forward) a lengthy montage of Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn doing just what the title states and at this point you find yourself already heading to the fridge for another beer. Sure, there are some moments, a scene between Vaughn and the late Henry Gibson being the best, but for every bit of momentum Vince manages to build Wilson is right there to drag it back down. Bit of star gazing to be had in Jane Seymour, Rebecca De Mornay and Dwight Yoakam but poor Christopher Walken is pretty much wasted and it's always great to see Ivana Bozilovic who for some reason hasn't had another role since. As stated, a few laughs and will do in a pinch if you have to sub for a chick flick otherwise avoid as you would a wedding.

R.I.P. Malcolm McLaren

2010-04-09T11:34:00.000-04:00

The devil had best watch his pockets!

Alice in Wonderland

2010-03-14T11:23:00.002-04:00

I still have to research a thing or two before I blurb this Tim Burton film proper but if you were thinking of seeing it by all means do as it's fabulous.

and by now most of you have seen this and I've taken ages to follow up.

All around a fantastic surprise. I had concerns about Johnny Depp as the Hatter due to the advance posters, just didn't like the costume and makeup design. Five seconds after he hit the screen my fears were confirmed only to have them go "poof" ten seconds later and this now ranks up there as one of Depp's best performances in my mind. It was interesting to see Burton play this one "safe" as it were as the material was so strange there wasn't much need to weird things out. Great visuals, wonderful vocal cameos (Alan Rickman as Blue Caterpillar is excellent and listen for Christopher Lee) and proper use of the 3-D make this a pleasant surprise but what TRULY shocked me was the audience response and this is what I needed to confirm. During the scene where Hatter recites the poem of the Jabberwocky I was happy to hear various patrons narrating along only to be utterly shocked when most of the crowd were speaking along by the end. To hear a thousand lus people say "galumphing" is an absolute treat and it happened in the other three screenings I attended and it's the only time, aside from established cult films, I've witnessed this.
For those of you left who have not seen...get yer' arse down the hole!

R.I.P.-Corey Haim

2010-03-10T10:04:00.001-05:00

Amazing how the obvious can still surprise.

THE OSCAR LINE 2010-HOW TO WIN BEERS AND PISS OF YOUR SO CALLED FRIENDS

2010-03-07T10:05:00.002-05:00

I went to my local bookie, Jimmy the Nose, to lay some bets on this year's Oscars and was promptly told to fawk off and git a life though he'd be more than happy to take my money if I wanted to bet against Jeff Bridges. Ain't happening so now it's down to a beer and bragging rights between Candy Minx (www.gnosticminx.blogspot.com ) and myself. Here is how I see it playing out.

COSTUME DESIGN
Safe bet-NINE
Dr. K. bet-THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS, because there is still a lot of love for Heath and it has to win something and it sure as shit won't be ART DIRECTION

ANIMATED FEATURE
Safe ber-CORALINE
Dr. K. bet-FANTASTIC MR. FOX, this is a hard one to call but I think this will edge CORALINE out

MAKEUP
Safe bet-STAR TREK
Dr. K. bet-STAR TREK, come on....against IL DIVO and THE YOUNG VICTORIA?!?!?!? This should be a NO BRAINER.

VISUAL EFFECTS
ONLY BET-AVATAR
if it loses this one I'll eat a pickled beet jar!

ART DIRECTION
ditto....AVATAR though there is a slim chance SHERLOCK HOLMES might upset

ACTOR, SUPPOTING
Safe bet-WOODY HARRELSON
Dr. K. bet-CHRISTOPH WALTZ, he DESERVES it but Woody has friends in...ahem..."high" places.

SHORT FILM, LIVE ACTION
Safe Bet-MIRACLE FISH
Dr. K. bet-THE DOOR

SHORT FILM, ANIMATED
Safe bet-FRENCH ROAST
Dr. K. bet-GRANNY O'GRIMM'S SLEEPING BEAUTY

ACTRESS, SUPPORTING
cluster fuck territory this
Safe bet-Mo'Nique
Dr. K. bet-same as that PRECIOUS flick is getting some serious props though Maggie Gyllenhaal could stun the audience with a win

SCREENPLAY, ADAPTED
another tough category
Safe Bet-believe it or not UP IN THE AIR
Dr. K. bet-a long shot but DISTRICT 9 and I'm still split on this or PRECIOUS.....hard one to call

SOUND EDITING
Safe bet-AVATAR
Dr. K. bet-love to see STAR TREK get it but AVATAR will

SOUND MIXING
ditto

ACTRESS, LEADING
Safe bet-Sandra Bullock
Dr. K. bet-could kill me in the final points but I have a funny feeling Gabourey Sidibe will snag this though many feel it's too early but as I mentioned, PRESCIOUS has props and some serious love.

FILM EDITING
Safe bet-AVATAR
Dr. K. bet-this could be the one DISTRICT 9 snags but I'd play it safe with AVATAR

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
Safe bet-who the fuck knows!
Dr. K. bet-THE PROPHET

ORIGINAL SONG
Safe Bet-THE WEARY KIND
Dr.K. bet-DOWN IN NEW ORLEANS, because folks loved that damn PRINCESS AND THE FROG and that short fellow Newman is due for another

CINEMATOGRAPHY
Safe bet-AVATAR though it shouldn't
Dr. K. bet-I don't suggest you put your money on it but INGLORIOUS BASTERDS....damn but the cinematography in that film was great!

ORIGINAL SCORE
Safe bet-AVATAR
Dr. K. bet-hmmmmmm yep...same!

DOCUMENTARY SHORT
Safe bet-THE LAST CAMPAIGN OF GOVENOR BOOTH GARDNER
Dr. K. bet-THE LAST TRUCK:CLOSING OF A GM PLANT

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
Safe bet-THE COVE
Dr. K. bet-would love to see FOOD, INC. snag it but THE COVE is the pick.

SCREENPLAY, ORIGINAL
Safe bet-THE HURT LOCKER
Dr. K. bet-INGLORIOUS BASTERDS

ACTOR, LEADING
JEFF BRIDGES------don't bother picking anything else and if he doesn't walk away with gold it wil be a major upset...like the CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS winning the Stanley Cup or something!

DIRECTING
Safe bet-James Cameron
Dr. K. bet-love to see Bigelow get it but AVATAR was such a monster I don't think it will which means we'll have to listen to Cameron bellow "Im the king of the whatever those fucking blue slinky things are called"

BEST PICTURE
Safe bet-AVATAR
Dr. K. bet-THE HURT LOCKER as I'm sure the Academy doesn't want to listen to Cameron ramble on any more than they have to.

There we go kiddies, stock up on the goodies (don't forget Asprin!) and remember...don't drink and drive...or blog for that matter!

Hunger

2010-03-07T09:32:00.002-05:00

By my reckoning this Steve McQueen (he should have changed his name!) biopic concerning the controversial life and death of I.R.A. activist Bobby Sands should have been eligible for this year's Oscars though I may be slightly off on that. If it was then HUNGER stands out as the big oversight this time 'round. Let me be straight on this one, HUNGER is in no way shape or form a feel good film and it pulls no punches in it's exploration of Sands as a man but it is one extremely well crafted film hence why I say it's ommison is a puzzling one. Politics may certainly have had something to do with it but it's never stopped the Academy before. Well, it has but it seems to be less of an issue these days. While I often prefer to let you see the films for yourself and this is certainly the case with HUNGER, I will offer this. As brutal as some of the scenes are, I'm told they in no way shape or form approach the violent truth of just how bad the prisons in Northern Ireland were during the troubles. I have friends who were there both inside and out and they all swear this. Also, these same people look fondly on HUNGER though their complaint right across the board was that it should have given more information on Thatcher and what her government was doing at the time. Take from that what you will but I guarantee this....you do not watch a movie like HUNGER without it changing you in some way.

District 9

2010-03-07T09:18:00.002-05:00

An all around surprise this one turned out to be. Like so many of the new sci-fi features hitting the big screen the trailers looked great, the ad campaign was superb therefor it was a pretty safe bet to say the film was going to suck. It didn't at shockingly earned itself four Oscar nominations. Hard to say if it will grab one but it doesn't really matter, the fact it was noticed is amazing enough. I won't waste your time going on about DISTRICT 9. Great, and I do mean GREAT, script with a fantastic concept. Killer action with a point and purpose, supremely acted, constructed with an overall effect you won't quickly forget. Can easily be watched by those who can't stand the genre though you might think twice before you ever eat a prawn again.

The Hurt Locker

2010-03-05T11:35:00.001-05:00

Well, I 'll say one thing for Kathryn Bigelow, she sure knows how to piss people off with her art. I'm amazed at how many people are upset with THE HURT LOCKER but you can read about that somewhere else. It's a slow film that makes you work which is probably why so many think it's overrated. It isn't and I'd like to see more flicks like this coming out of Hollywood. Bigelow doesn't chew our meat, she puts it on the table and we as viewers can take what we want and I'd sugest you take the fat and gristle as well for the full reward. While the story is not linear as such it does have a fantastic ending which pulls the whole thing together. Some great cameos which I won't ruin for you and just all around a fabulous picture.
Will it win best picture at this year's Oscars. Hard to say but I think James Cameron's ex is going to squeak by AVATAR and and nab it. Jeremy Renner, who might have been a little too baby faced for the role, is up for best actor and he deserves it but with the Vegas bookies laying a line of 6 to 1 for Jeff Bridges to take it for his work in CRAZY HEART I doubt he'll take it and this is about all you need to know about THE HURT LOCKER.

The Lovely Bones

2010-03-05T11:01:00.002-05:00

I made a bad mistake with this one in that I popped in on a screening between films and what little I saw left me cold. I think it can be said we were all excited when we heard Peter Jackson snagged the rights to the Alice Sebold novel and with what he had done in the past with LOVELY CREATURES almost made this a no-brainer. Then the critics at large pretty much ripped this baby a new one and it just kind of faded off in the sunset. Now, like so many things I could go on and on but I have to get this blurbed before the Oscars so let me just throw a few thoughts out there. THE LOVELY BONES is in fact a great film IF you try to look at it through the eyes of a 14 year old and this is where I think many missed the point of what Jackson was trying to achieve. He was blasted for glossing over the horror of Susie Salmon's rape and murder and if you attack it from the viewpoint that Jackson was making a film for teenagers then this decision makes perfect sense. Of course I read the book and at the time I thought Sebold had been writing for a younger market and just so happened to land a blockbuster which appealed to adults. I don't know if this is true but it was the sense I got. The second thing I would like to point out is Mark Wahlberg. He was roasted for not having the chops to fill his role...unfairly so. Jackson lost his lead, Wahlberg just so happened to be in the area and stepped up to the plate and he is nowhere near as bad as some would have you believe. Susan Sarandon was not wasted as some claim, merely a diversion and Rachel Weisz gives an understated performance needed for this project. The great Michael Imperioli could have been better utilized but as it is his role was merely a bit part anyway. This brings us to Stanley Tucci. Is he great as our murdering George Harvey? Yes. Does he lok like he watched Jeff Bridges in THE VANISHING a hundred times to prepare for the role? You betcha! Will he win the Oscar for supporting actor. Any other year he'd have a damn good shot but not this one. There is no way in Hell anybody is beating Christoph Waltz in INGLORIOUS BASTERDS and you can take that to the bank. In closing THE LOVELY BONES is a great piece of work if you remember the 14 year old eyes (by the way, Saoirse Ronan is fantastic as Susie Salmon) and you gotta love a flick that has THIS MORTAL COIL and THE COCTEAU TWINS in the soundtrack. Well worth the rental fee.

Closed for Winter (Elise)

2010-03-03T10:01:00.002-05:00

To my knowledge I've never read a book by Georgia Bland and I'd never seen a film by James Bogle but I sure as Heaven know Natalie Imbruglia. I must have gone through at least three copies of the LEFT OF THE MIDDLE CD so I was surprised to see her surface in this Australian film. I was twice as surprised to discover she's be quite active with both music and acting down under.....we just aren't seeing it here. CLOSED FOR WINTER is an interesting piece of "chick flick" with the BIG C reflection stuff which will require a box of tissue or two. Rather slow with little satisfaction climax wise I did however like the picture. Some understated visuals help compliment the emotional themes explored though the pacing will turn some viewers off. Certainly worth a look EARLY in the evening as later viewing will more than likely result in instant slumber.

Julie & Julia

2010-03-03T08:55:00.002-05:00

At this stage in the game, and I'm sorry I didn't get to blurb this one sooner, the big question is will Streep get the Oscar for this one and the answer would be probably no. While many say the split is between her and Sandra Bullock in THE BLIND SIDE but for some reason folks are forgetting Gabourey Sidibe in PRECIOUS : BASED ON THE NOVEL PUSH BY SAPPHIRE who I think might sneak away with the win but nevermind that, we're talking about JULIE & JULIA.
Nora Ephron scripted an amazing hybrid of blogger Julie Powell's book and a mutated version of chef Julia Child's life and presents us with a juxtaposed movie of supreme import. Serious, rather than AVATAR or THE HURT LOCKER, this should have had a best picture nod. I laughed, I actually cried (tears of joy) and I absolutely loved this film. Was Streep great? Yes but the big surprise for me was Stanley Tucci and Amy Adams. I could go on and on about JULIE & JULIA but I won't other than to say it was great to see Ephron utilize Dan Aykroyd's SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE skit and you should buy the DVD rather than rent it, watch it once, watch the extra featrues and watch it again and then the complexities of this work will be clearer. Bon appetit!

R.I.P.- J.D. Salinger

2010-01-28T17:07:00.000-05:00

The catcher has gone to the big rye field in the sky.

Sherlock Holmes

2010-01-27T12:32:00.002-05:00

Despite my concerns about Guy Ritchie's rendition of the Holmes legend I had every intention of being there for the Christmas day opening. Alas, life does get in the way sometimes as does my snobbish and hypocritical tendencies. I say hypocritical in the sense that I always love the Basil Rathbone Sherlock pictures when in reality they have little if nothing at all sometimes to do with what Doyle wrote yet I can jump up and down and complain about Guy possibly doing the same thing. Hypocrite! Snobbish in "why can't the studios come up with something new instead of bastardizing the classics and WTF, Downey Jr. as Holmes ????????....never going to work".

Wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong!

Right from the get go this Sherlock is action, action, action and it packs one hell of a powerful kick. Downey is fantastic and Jude Law more than keeps up. Even though the story is unlike any Doyle ever provided it captures the nature of his universe and there are enough obscure references to keep the hard core fans happy and it's great to see Downey sans deerstalker. An interesting thing Ritchie does with baddie Mark Strong is film in such as fashion as he often resembles the late Jeremy Brett which is quite disturbing. All around fabulous fun and like the new STAR TREK leaves you wishing the sequel were coming out next week.

2012

2010-01-26T08:31:00.003-05:00

Roland Emmerich gets all new agey and brings John Cusack on board for this end of ages tale about global demise this time round using solar activity instead of aliens and blows the shit out of everything....again. As always the visuals are great but we've seen it all before and it gets rather boring mighty quick. Oliver Platt almost succeeds in bringing some human menace to the mix and Woody Harrelson delivers in spades on the comedy front but in the end 2012 is a take it or leave it proposition.

Four Christmases

2010-01-24T11:49:00.002-05:00

I know Christmas is eleven months away and it seems like we just got rid of the last one but don't let this scare you away from this Vince Vaughn, Resse Witherspoon comedy. Critics kicked it and the general public seems to have hated it but I thought there were some killer laugh out loud moments, in particular the revival church scene with Dwight Yokam in which Vaughn is simply a riot. Always nice to see Kristin Chenowith of ROBOT CHICKEN fame and of course Robert Duvall nearly steals the show. Nothing highbrow but good for a smile or two.